Unhealthy ministers display poor boundaries. Unethical ministers misuse their position of professional responsibility to ravage the flock. This discussion of healthy professional boundaries will help us to identify good ministers of the gospel and separate them from those who abuse professional position - the wolf in sheep clothing.
“Good fences make good neighbors” – Robert Frost. Discernment of a healthy and holy man of God (minister) requires a look at how they handle boundary issues.
A successful relationship is composed of two individuals - each with a clearly defined sense of her or his own identity and personal boundaries. http://lifeesteem.org/wellness/wellness_boundaries.html
Personal boundaries are the limits we set in relationships that allow us to protect our selves. Good boundaries protect us from abuse and pave the way to achieving true intimacy. They allow us to get close to others when it is appropriate and to maintain our distance when we might be harmed by getting too close.
Wolves cross boundaries. They invade people's space. Sexual predators who are men of the cloth may push the boundaries in a time of prayer ministry by getting too close (space invaders); by making and maintaining too much touch contact. The wolf may take the role of the wounded one who needs sympathy and support from the parishioner. (This kind of role reversal is a boundary violation.)
The code of ethics of the American Association of Pastoral Counselors (1994) in Principle III G provides explicit and comprehensive directives concerning what constitutes unethical sexual behavior: All forms of sexual behavior or harassment with clients are unethical, even when a client invites or consents to such behavior or involvement. Sexual behavior is defined as, but not limited to, all forms of overt and covert seductive speech, gestures, and behavior, as well as physical contact of a sexual nature; harassment is defined as but not limited to, repeated comments, gestures, or physical contacts of a sexual nature
Maintaining these boundaries safeguards the flock against sexual impropriety. As many as 40% of pastors have had a situation in which some sexual indiscretion had occurred, be it related to pornography or inappropriate advances towards another person.
In any event, the responsibility for the nature of a pastoral relationship and for maintaining appropriate boundaries rests squarely with the minister. He is the one who holds the balance in the power equation.
A significant imbalance of power exists in relationships between people and their ministers in their role as spiritual leaders. This power imbalance is defined by Peter Rutter as "a difference in degree of personal and social freedom between two people which permits one to impose his or her will on the other." (Peter Rutter, M.D.,Sex in the Forbidden Zone, Los Angeles: Jeremy P. Tarcher, Inc., 1989).
http://images.rca.org/docs/ministry/sexethicscode.rtf.
Financial boundaries-- ministry should be done with integrity; the minister must not compromise ethics by tolerating or encouraging poor or illegal church business financial practices. He should not use his position of power and influence to benefit financially at the expense of the members of the church.
Boundary issues are more likely when there are Dual Relationships. When the minister engages church members in relationships beyond professional parameters, such as becoming business associates, employers, or Power of Care , they are engaging in unhealthy dual relationships with multiple agendas.
Former members of the Good Samaritan Church have alleged that Ralph Rutledge or his family members benefited when he used his power and influence to wrest Power of Care from family members and then benefited financially from this Power of Care situation. if this proves to be true it is an allegation of poor boundaries and unprofessional conduct.
Assess any minister or professional by asking yourself if they maintain good personal, financial and sexual boundaries in their relationships as you have observed them and as they have been reported to you. Very poor boundaries and repeated reports (allegations) of discrepancies should be an alert to the possibility of a wolf in sheep clothing.
George Hartwell M.Sc. Christian counsellor provides Christian counselling ( counseling / therapy ) through 90 minute in person sessions at his office in Mississauga. As a professional Christian Marriage counsellor George provides Christian marriage counselling counseling for couples in Oakville, Mississauga, Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
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